Spontaneously got a rose donut with my Starbucks Cappuccino today!!! This was a huge win because not only is the cabinet food at Starbucks generally a no-go zone for me (this is only the second cabinet item I eat all year) but I had if with a milky drink, which I normally consider to be excessive… But that is ridiculous. It is not excessive for anyone to have a coffee with their cake, and especially not for someone recovering from an ED.
I am trying to take these results as a sign that I need to move on from my old life of self-hate & control. With these scores, I have the possibility to do whatever I want, at least on paper . Not everyone is that fortunate. It is my responsibility to take advantage of that. To stop surviving & start living. I know I have a hella way to go. But anything is better than (a) dying or (b) living out my years as a functioning anorexic, existing but not truly living.
I have to fight. And that I will. I will be free.
The past and future.
You have the power. Also Happy Birthday Dalai Lama.